the magical thinking gets us by
by TexasWatermelon
Summary: "She never understood the glory in death. Death is easy. It's living that's hard." Sequel to when you turn your eyes, i promise i won't care. Valkubus. One-shot.


**Title: **the magical thinking gets us by  
**Author: **texaswatermelon  
**Fandom: **Lost Girl  
**Pairing: **Bo Dennis/Tamsin  
**Rating: **M for language and sexual content  
**Summary: **_She never understood the glory in death. Death is easy. It's living that's hard. _Sequel to "when you turn your eyes, i promise i won't care".  
**Disclaimer: **Lost Girl and its characters do not belong to me. No infringement intended.  
**Word Count: **8,947  
**A/N: **Screwing around with more Valkyrie lore and various other shit. The story of Helgi and Sigrún is an actual story, but it doesn't go the way I told it. Also, I know that Tamsin doesn't actually have a tattoo on her back from what we've seen, but just go with it. If you don't like what I've done with the Doccubus/Dybo situations, I honestly don't need to hear about it. Just don't read it. But I tried to treat them both with as much respect as possible. And lastly, I apologize for the horrible quality of the last scene. I don't know why I was having so much trouble writing it. Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.

Title from Vanessa Carlton's "Fairweather Friends".

xx

When Tamsin was a little girl, a young Valkyrie still learning the ways of her people, her mother would tell her stories of the old days. Most of these stories were tales of battle and glory; of older sisters she'd never met carrying brave warriors off to the halls of her home. Her younger sisters reveled in these stories; they would bother the dead warriors to ask if they were true while they served them mead and food after training. Tamsin got bored of these stories quickly. She didn't care if they were true or not. She never understood the glory in death. Death is easy. It's living that's hard. There is true glory in carrying on even when you feel like you can't. That is the truest sacrifice.

There was one story that Freyja told that always caught Tamsin's attention. The story of Helgi and Sigrún was meant to be a cautionary tale for young Valkyries about the consequences of refusing their duty. Helgi was a great fighter, feared by many other warriors and renowned for his prowess on the battlefield. Thousands fell by his sword. It was said that one day he would be king of all the lands. Sigrún was one of Freyja's most loyal and beloved daughters. She watched over many of Helgi's battles, saw how strong and brave he was—a true survivor. She began to grow fond of him and hope for his continued success.

Odin, their father and ruler, could feel his daughter's loyalty to him wavering. With each passing day, Sigrún's love of Helgi grew stronger. Odin became jealous. It had long since been decreed that his daughters would bear love only for him. In order to secure Sigrún's loyalty, Odin demanded that Helgi would die in his next battle and that Sigrún would be forced to bring him to Valhalla. He sent a great challenger after Helgi and imbued him with extra strength so that he could not fail against Sigrún's lover.

When the time came, Odin's champion was successful in defeating Helgi. As Helgi lay dying the field, Sigrún appeared to him. She was so enraged by her father's treachery that she refused to give him the satisfaction of taking her love to Valhalla. Instead, she sacrificed all of her strength and powers to heal Helgi and confessed her love to him. Odin declared that for Sigrún's betrayal, she would be forced to live out the rest of her days in the mortal plane, never to return to Valhalla or see her family again. Thus, the first invocation was completed.

Looking back at it now, Tamsin thinks she probably should have seen this coming. While her sisters always cowered in fear from that story, Tamsin craved it. Sigrún was her hero. She saw her sacrifice as the truest test of bravery and longed to meet this sister of hers one day. She has since then discovered that Sigrún is long dead, but Tamsin feels as though a piece of her sister resides within her. Especially now, after all that's happened. She doesn't regret using the invocation to save Bo's life.

In fact, she thinks it is her greatest triumph.

xx

Since disowning her family and taking Bo as her patron, the Dal has become a sanctuary of sorts for Tamsin. Other than a bit of fatigue and a total loss of her powers, she hasn't really felt the repercussions of her actions. But she knows they will come, and since the Dal is neutral territory, it's really the safest place for her to hang out until she knows exactly where she stands. It doesn't hurt that both Bo and Trick have vowed to keep her safe at all costs. Not that Tamsin has ever really felt she needed to be protected, but they're grateful for her sacrifice and she appreciates their help. Trick has even promised to forgive her tab from now until the end of time.

Unfortunately, all the beer in the world can't ease the painful awkwardness that comes when either Dyson or Lauren are in the pub at the same time as Bo. And God forbid that all three of them should be there at once. It's like watching a train wreck of a soap opera where none of the characters are smart enough to leave the fucking room. Even Kenzi has taken to sitting at Tamsin's table whenever this happens. The two of them sit there, drinking and listening to the horrific attempts at conversation. At least Kenzi's poorly whispered commentary makes up for it a little bit.

From what Tamsin can gather, Lauren got piss drunk and screwed some scientist after their little trip to Brazenwood, and even though she didn't do it to hurt Bo or get back at her for anything, and even though Bo doesn't blame her and isn't mad at her for it, it's made her do some thinking. No matter how much Bo tries to live in the human world, in _Lauren's_ world, she realizes that she will never belong there. Not fully. Bo needs things that Lauren can't give, and vise versa. They are opposites in many ways, and although Bo loves Lauren deeply, she doesn't think that this thing between them is working out right now. Maybe one day they'll be able to get to a place where they can stop unintentionally hurting each other, but for now, Bo wants to salvage a chance at friendship before even that is no longer possible.

The details of the deal with Dyson are different, but the overall effect is the same. Dyson is forever trying to do whatever he thinks is best for Bo rather than letting Bo figure that out on her own. Bo is a girl who rarely needs protection or saving, but Dyson seems to have this awful hero complex that makes him feel the need to put himself in harm's way just for the sake of proving that he's totally selfless and willing to sacrifice everything for his love for Bo. Which isn't really very selfless at all. Again, all they ever end up doing is putting each other in danger and hurting one another, and Bo is tired of his bullshit. She wants him to see her as an equal instead of a damsel, and he can't do that if they're together, apparently.

It's all so fucking dramatic and agonizing that Tamsin rolls her eyes so many times she's afraid they'll get stuck in the back of her head. Yes, she loves Bo, too. And yes, she made a sacrifice for her. But she did it because there was literally no other choice. Because if she hadn't, Bo would have died. And then what? They'd all be shit out of luck. She's no hero. She's definitely not selfless, not even pretending to be. She did what she and to do, and that's that. There are no expectations. Bo will never love her. But at least she's alive. Mission accomplished. The end.

xx

She's fortunate enough that neither Lauren nor Dyson are at the Dal tonight. It's just her and Bo (and Kenzi of course, but she's at the bar guzzling down booze and annoying Trick to the point that he looks like he might defy gravity to hop over the bar and strangle her) shooting a game of pool. Tamsin is totally kicking Bo's ass at this, but right as she goes to line up a really good shot, Bo walks by her and brushes her hand across Tamsin's back. Tamsin stiffens, closes her eyes and shivers as the most delicious warmth she's ever felt washes over her. Her brain is immediately clouded by a haze of lust and she feels her grip on the pool stick loosen. Bo has never used this power on her before, and this is so cheating, but holy fuck is it marvelous and Tamsin can't bring herself to care.

"Aren't you going to take your shot?" Bo says lowly, right next to her ear. "You're very skilled. I'm sure you can find the hole."

Tamsin practically chokes on her own spit. Her shot is totally fucked up by now, but she takes it anyway and ends up sending one of Bo's balls into the pocket instead.

"Using your powers to cheat doesn't make you a better pool player, Succubus," Tamsin growls, but there's no real force behind it because Bo is still pressed up against her, and her breath is hot and sweet against Tamsin's neck.

"No, but it will help me win the game," Bo chuckles, and then she spins away to grab her beer and take a sip.

The rest of the game goes similarly, until Tamsin ends up putting the eight ball in the pocket before it's time. She fucking hates losing, but the squeal of delight that Bo emits when she wins makes it a little easier. Tamsin does her best to suppress a grin and gulps down the rest of her beer.

"And on that note, it's time for me to go home," she says.

"Let me take you," Bo offers, suddenly serious.

"I think I can walk myself home without getting killed, Hotpants," Tamsin says wryly. "Besides, I think Gramps is plotting to murder your little sidekick over there."

Bo follows Tamsin's gaze across the room to see Kenzi leaning over the bar, actually trying to pinch Trick's cheeks. And yeah, he looks like he's ready to use his blood magic to write Kenzi out of existence. Bo sighs and shakes her head.

"Okay, well at least text me to let me know that you made it home safely," she says.

"Yes, Mom," Tamsin replies, rolling her eyes.

She tries not to notice her heart fluttering in response to Bo's coy smirk and grabs her jacket off of the back of her chair—the blue leather one that Bo complemented her on the other day.

"It brings out the color of your eyes. They're beautiful," she'd said sincerely.

Which totally isn't why Tamsin decided to wear it today. She's not the kind of girl who wears certain things just to impress pretty people. It just happened to go with the outfit she picked out this morning.

Her apartment isn't that far, really, but the alley behind the Dal is creepy as hell. She'd never really noticed it before the dawning. She'd always had the knowledge that there are few Fae that can properly fuck with a Valkyrie boosting her confidence. Now, though, she notices the eerie quiet and shudders against the wind while she walks.

She doesn't get far. As she rounds the corner into another alley, she comes face to face with a gigantic, hulking Berserker. He has to be at least seven feet tall, and there's enough muscle on him to put any oiled up body builder to shame. He bares his teeth when he sees her.

"I have a message from the Morrigan," he says in a deep, rumbling voice.

"Oh yeah?" Tamsin says, trying not to let her voice waver. Whatever this is, it can't be good. "And what exactly does Her Highness have to say?"

Her answer is a fist to the face, though it feels a hell of a lot more like a cinderblock than a fist. It knocks her straight on her ass. She can taste blood in her mouth, feel it trickling down the side of her face, warm and sticky. Her head pounds from the force of the blow, to the point where her vision blurs. There is a low growl, and then a very large foot connects with her side. She cries out as several ribs crack under the pressure, and if there isn't any internal bleeding, she'll be surprised.

So, one of her sisters must have informed the Morrigan that she's no longer associated with the Valkyries. It's no coincidence that she's getting the shit kicked out of her by a Berserker right now. They are the Norse Fae warriors of old. That in and of itself is a message: _I know what you've done. You're powerless. We have no use for you anymore._ She's not sure if this Berserker is under orders to kill her or not, but given her history with Evony, it's very likely.

There's a shout from the end of the alley, but Tamsin's ears are ringing so loudly that she barely hears it.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

It's Bo, of course, and Tamsin vaguely wonders if she'll ever lose her talent for making horrible puns in dangerous situations. She can't see very clearly through the blood in her eye, but Bo is now fighting the Berserker, and probably not doing very much damage, if the crack of a head against a brick wall is any indication.

Suddenly, a gunshot rings out—a shotgun by the sound of it. The Berserker crashes to the ground, a large, bloody hole in his chest.

"Are you okay?" Trick asks, helping Bo up.

"Fine," Bo replies. "Thanks for your help."

She kneels beside Tamsin and looks down worriedly, brushing some of the bloodied hair back from Tamsin's face.

"She's hurt pretty badly. I'm going to give her some of my chi."

Tamsin tries to protest, but the pain is too intense. And then Bo is sending a stream of pink energy towards her. It flows into her body and she gasps at the sensation of her internal wounds healing themselves.

"Better?" Bo asks breathlessly when she's finished. Tamsin nods weakly and allows Bo to help her stand. "What the hell was that? Why did he come after you?"

"Message from the Morrigan. I guess this is her way of handing me a pink slip," Tamsin says, wiping the blood from her lip.

"Somebody should really update her definition of a severance package," Kenzi quips.

"Can she do that?" Bo asks Trick with outrage.

"Technically, yes," Trick says regretfully. "As the leader of the Dark, she's allowed to deal with her people however she sees fit."

"I am so sick of the Fae and their bullshit antiquated rules!" Bo growls.

"It's fine, Bo," Tamsin says, putting a calming hand on Bo's arm. "I figured something like this was coming."

"Well I'm not letting you out of my sight until we know how far the Morrigan plans on taking this. You can stay at our place," Bo says decidedly. "Is that okay with you, Kenzi?"

"Of course," Kenzi says with a smile. "You're one of us now, Tam-Tam."

Tamsin snorts. "Notice my barely contained excitement."

She feels like a child (or worse, a human) who needs to be babysat. It's horrible. But she doesn't argue when Bo takes her home. Bo is her patron now, and where she leads, Tamsin will follow.

xx

Bo leads her upstairs as soon as they get to the shack. She directs Tamsin to sit on the bed and then disappears into the bathroom to find first aid. When she returns, she dabs gently at the cut over Tamsin's eyebrow with an antiseptic wipe. Tamsin winces at the sting, but doesn't complain.

"I could probably give you some more chi to heal these up," Bo says softly, moving to Tamsin's split lip.

"You've already done more than enough," Tamsin says, avoiding Bo's gaze. "Thanks for saving my ass. And for letting me stay here."

"Of course," Bo says sincerely. She packs the first aid kit away and stands up. "Let me give you something to change into."

Tamsin watches as she walks over to a dresser and starts rifling through it. She's wearing a black tank top, typical attire for Bo, and the play of muscles across her back is mesmerizing. When Bo turns back around with a t-shirt in hand, Tamsin can't even be bothered to pretend she's not staring. Bo smiles knowingly, almost shyly, and hands Tamsin the shirt.

"Thanks," Tamsin says.

She stands and turns her back to Bo, pulling her current shirt over her head. Her side is still a little sore and there's a purple bruise where she was kicked, but it beats the hell out of broken ribs and internally bleeding to death.

A hand brushes across the center of her back, fingers tracing the outline of the tattoo she knows is there. It's a black raven carrying a sword in its beak, flying off towards a bright sun.

"What does it mean?" Bo asks, breath ghosting across Tamsin's back.

"It's the mark of the Valkyries. Like a clan crest," Tamsin explains.

"It's beautiful," Bo says.

She leans forward and presses her lips against the tattoo. Tamsin's breath hitches and her eyes close. Bo trails a line of kisses up her back and Tamsin instinctually turns her head to meet Bo's mouth when it gets to hers. She turns around to face Bo fully and Bo deepens the kiss. It stings the hell out of her lip, but Tamsin still manages a tiny whimper of approval. Bo's hands begin to wander, blunt nails raking up her sides, tracing the undersides of her bra. Tamsin pulls away for air and manages to unstick her voice from the back of her throat.

"Bo," she breathes desperately, clinging to Bo's hips. "Bo, I can't."

Bo pulls away from where she was determinedly placing a hickey on Tamsin's neck, eyes glowing a bright blue, and Tamsin has seriously never hated herself more for stopping this.

"I'm sorry," Bo says, licking her lips as her eyes fade back to brown. "I shouldn't have assumed you'd want to—"

"No!" Tamsin interrupts, then clears her throat and tries to compose herself. "That's not… I mean, I do. Want to. I've just… I've never…"

She looks at Bo, hoping to God that she'll get the gist so that Tamsin doesn't have to keep making an ass of herself. Bo's eyes go wide with understanding.

"Oh. Oh! _Never?_ Holy shit, how old are you?"

"Don't you know it's impolite to ask a lady about her age?" Tamsin chastises playfully.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around the idea," Bo says apologetically. "Can I ask why?"

"I told you, Valkyries don't take lovers," Tamsin says, feeling herself blush. Never in a million years did she imagine having to explain this to a Succubus of all people, and one that she's in love with no less.

"I thought that was an exaggeration," Bo says. Tamsin shakes her head.

"Not only would anyone we slept with probably be marked for Valhalla, but we're also not actually allowed to have relations." Bo looks like her eyes are going to pop out of her head, so Tamsin sighs and explains further. "Everything that we are as Valkyries belongs to our father, Odin. Including our love. Falling in love with someone else is considered an act of betrayal. Odin can feel it when our loyalty to him wanes because of feelings for another. That's why he usually forces us to take our loved ones to Valhalla. We can either obey him, thus proving our loyalty, or complete the invocation. Only then are our bonds to our father severed, and we can act freely."

"What happens if you sleep with someone without the invocation?" Bo asks.

"Death," Tamsin says simply. "It's a huge dishonor."

"Jesus," Bo says, looking disgusted. "What is your dad's problem?"

"He's a very old and jealous god," Tamsin says with a shrug. "But most of my sisters have great love for him. They would rather die than betray him and leave Valhalla forever. Family is… important to us."

"Tamsin," Bo says sadly.

"Don't," Tamsin says with a tired smile. "I made my decision, and I don't regret it. I've never enjoyed my duties the way my sisters do. Honestly, it's kind of a relief. Three hundred years is a long time to be a harbinger of death. It gets old. And lonely. I think I'm getting the better end of bargain this way."

Bo smiles sweetly and brushes her hand across Tamsin's cheek.

"I know I certainly am." Tamsin smirks. "Come on, let's get some sleep. It's been a long night."

Tamsin finally throws Bo's shirt on over her head and climbs gingerly into bed.

"I promise I won't try to cop a feel while you're sleeping," Bo teases.

"Just make it worth my while if you do," Tamsin replies.

Bo laughs and rolls onto her side, facing away from Tamsin. Her breathing evens out quickly. Tamsin lies there for a long time, thinking about Sigrún and Helgi until she finally falls asleep. When she dreams, it is not of Valhalla. It's the first time in weeks.

xx

For reasons unknown, she and Kenzi end up guarding the entrance to some creepy ass cave while Bo goes digging around inside for some special amulet for a client. Kenzi shifts around nervously and mutters under her breath in Russian, which gets on Tamsin's nerves after five minutes, but she gives it fifteen before she finally gets the shits of it.

"Okay, small fry, what the hell is your problem?" she snaps. "You've been muttering like a lunatic for the past fifteen minutes."

Kenzi huffs and crosses her arms.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just that after I got Kitsune-napped, I hoped I'd never have to go near one of these again."

Tamsin rolls her eyes because sympathy really isn't her thing, but this is Bo's BFF, so she figures she should at least try to be nice. Besides, Kenzi really isn't so bad. As long as she's not talking, anyway.

"Look, Bo will be back soon and then we can get out of here. Until then, if anything tries to fuck with you, I'll break its neck. Cool?"

Kenzi manages a smile and a nod. Neither of them mention the fact that Tamsin hasn't faced any adversaries other than the Berserker since she lost her powers, and they both know how that ended.

They stand there for another couple of minutes, and now that Kenzi is silent, Tamsin can properly listen to their surroundings. It's the only reason she hears the snap of twigs to their left, just before something comes sprinting towards them out of the trees. It's a hideous, slumped, waxy looking thing. Tamsin has never seen anything like it, but she has a feeling that it lives in this cave that they're guarding and it obviously doesn't appreciate their presence. It heads straight for Kenzi, who screams. A long, bony-looking spike protrudes from the thing's forearm. It makes a jab at Kenzi, but true to her word, Tamsin steps in front of her to keep her safe.

The thing stabs her right in the shoulder, which hurts like a motherfucker, but not enough to keep Tamsin from punching it in the face. It stumbles back a step and tries to swipe at her again, but Tamsin has a knife. Even if she isn't at full strength, she's still strong enough to fight this thing and she still knows all of the moves. Tamsin blocks a few blows with her knife before she finally gets a clear shot and manages to lodge it into the thing's neck. It squeals with pain before falling to the ground, dead.

"What the hell was that?" Kenzi exclaims, looking down at it with horror.

"I don't know," Tamsin says. She kneels down to retrieve her knife, which squishes wetly when she pulls it out. As soon as she does, the creature disintegrates. "Guess we won't be finding out, either."

"You saved me," Kenzi says, almost like she can't believe it. She throws her arms around Tamsin in a tight hug. "Thank you!" Tamsin pats her back awkwardly, a look of discomfort on her face. She's never been much of a hugger.

"Yeah, don't mention—"

A sudden wave of dizziness washes over her, cutting off the rest of her sentence. Kenzi pulls away to look at her curiously, and without the support, Tamsin sways on her feet.

"Tamsin? What's… oh shit!"

She collapses, and Kenzi just barely manages to catch her before she hits the ground. Kenzi is talking to her, maybe even yelling, but she can't hear it. Her vision starts to go dark. The last thing she sees is Kenzi looking back towards the cave, calling to someone, before she blacks out completely.

xx

She wakes at the Dal, on the same couch that she woke up on after Bo's dawning. The first thing she notices is that it's cold. So cold. She can't stop shivering, and Tamsin can't remember ever being this cold in her life. It permeates every bone and blood cell. Aren't Valkyries supposed to be immune to cold? She can't remember.

Her clothes are soaked, though, which doesn't make any sense. Did she fall into a river? Did they pour water over her? Her hair sticks to her face like wet strings. She feels like she's drowning. She can't breathe.

Then the pain starts. It comes from her shoulder and radiates outward—a pulsing, throbbing pain. She can feel it coursing through her veins like poison. And that's when she remembers: she was stabbed by the creature in the woods when it tried to hurt Kenzi.

Kenzi. Where is Kenzi? Is she okay? Were there more of those things? If Kenzi was hurt, Bo will never forgive her.

She tries to say the name out loud, but her throat is so dry, it takes several times before she can actually get it to work. Even then, it's nothing more than a faint whisper.

"Kenzi."

It works. Someone notices and comes to her side. It's Bo. She has a weird look on her face. Is it anger? Disappointment? No. Worry. Guilt. But why?

"Where's Kenzi?" Tamsin tries again. She has to know if she was successful. It's the only thing that matters.

"She's okay, Tamsin," Bo assures her. "You saved her."

She feels relief flood through her at the news. Kenzi is okay. Good. She did her job. It's fine.

Bo puts a hand on her forehead and sucks in a breath.

"God, you're burning up," she murmurs, and places a cool cloth on Tamsin's head.

Burning up? No. She is freezing. Can't Bo feel it? Isn't she cold too?

"Bo," she says through chattering teeth, "I'm so cold."

"I know, honey," Bo says, and her hand feels so good against Tamsin's cheek. She wants it to stay there forever. "You have a fever. Whatever that thing was that you fought in the woods must have poisoned you."

Yes, poison. Tamsin can feel it inside of her. Breaking things down. Killing them. Killing her. Death by poison. She had hoped for better than that.

"Will you… will you stay with me?" she asks. She doesn't want to die without Bo by her side. She wants Bo's face to be the last thing she sees. That will be a good death.

"Yes. I'm not going anywhere," Bo promises. "I'll be right here the whole time."

She smiles. Or at least she thinks she does. But the blackness is coming, reaching up to take her again. And with the feel of Bo's hand against her skin, she lets it.

xx

Lauren appears, and Bo's shoulders sag at the sight of her. Whatever has happened between them, Lauren is a good doctor. If anyone can help Tamsin right now, it's her.

"Lauren, thank God," Bo says, but she doesn't get up from her place by Tamsin's side because she's too busy trying to keep Tamsin's head cool, and Tamsin has her other hand in a death grip while she sleeps.

"What happened?" Lauren asks seriously, already leaning over to inspect Tamsin's state.

It's not a good one. Tamsin is naturally pale, but she looks positively ghastly right now. Even her lips are drained of color, chapped and dry. Her face and hair are soaked with sweat, and her breathing is harsh and ragged. Her skin burns to the touch. Beneath their lids, her eyes dart rapidly back and forth, and she mumbles occasionally in a language that Bo doesn't understand. Her sleep is not a peaceful one.

"She was stabbed in the shoulder by some kind of Under Fae and it poisoned her. Kenzi and Trick have been trying to figure out what it was, but they haven't had any luck so far. Please, Lauren, you have to help her," Bo pleads.

Lauren's face contorts with conflict.

"Bo, you know I want to, but it's not that simple. She's Dark Fae and I work for the Light."

"She's not Dark Fae; she's not _any_ Fae," Bo snaps. "The Morrigan doesn't want her anymore and she gave up her place with the Valkyries to save me. She has no one to take care of her, Lauren. If she dies, her soul won't even go to Valhalla. I know Hale won't mind you helping her out, and if he does, he can take it up with me." She pauses and gives Lauren a pained look. "Lauren, I am begging you. She's important to me."

Lauren looks as though she's been slapped at that. She looks down at Tamsin, then at Bo and the intense look of concern on her face while she takes care of Tamsin. And this is the problem with loving someone who's got too much love to give. Too much love for any of them. She clears her throat and nods. She will do this. For Bo, she will do anything.

"I'll take some samples back to the lab and compare them with the database to see if I can figure out what kind of poison it is," she says.

"Thank you," Bo sighs gratefully, and gives her that sweet, thankful smile that makes her heart clench painfully.

Bo watches as Lauren gets to work, drawing several vials of blood from Tamsin's arm. She takes out a pair of scissors and cuts the shirt away from Tamsin's wound. Bo winces when she sees it. The skin is torn and swollen, angry and kind of a sickly green color. Dark purple lines streak away from it. Lauren swabs around the wound, and then actually scrapes inside of it. Tamsin whimpers in her sleep and Bo squeezes her hand tighter, giving what little comfort she can.

"I'll work as fast as I can. The best thing you can do for her now is to try to keep her hydrated. I'll call you when I get the results."

Bo nods and thanks her again. She looks back to Tamsin, who looks so small and frail, and prays that Lauren can find a cure.

xx

She fever dreams.

In her dreams, Tamsin arrives at the dawning too late. Bo lies on a stone slab, dressed all in white. Her body is unscathed, but she is dead nevertheless. Tamsin cries out in anguish, tries to revive her, but there are no wounds to be healed.

"There's nothing you can do for me now," Bo says, and Tamsin looks up to see her standing there, looking down at her own body. "It's better this way. Take me home, Tamsin. I'm ready."

She looks beautiful, ethereal in her flowing white dress. Her hair hangs down her back, long and dark, and she wears no makeup. Her eyes shine with something. Acceptance, maybe. She reaches out to take Tamsin's hand, laces their fingers together. They step into the light that will take them to Valhalla together.

Freyja meets them on the other side.

"You have done your duty, my daughter. Now it's time to go back. Bo will stay with us. We'll take good care of her."

"But I want to stay here with her," Tamsin says, looking desperately at Bo, who seems serene and happy.

"You can't. Your place is in the mortal plane. There are still so many souls to bring home," Freyja says.

Tamsin shakes her head and reaches out to Bo, but she has already turned away. Freyja leads her down the hall, and Bo doesn't look back. Tamsin is cast out of Valhalla against her will.

She reappears at the Dal. Bo's body is laid out on one of the tables, surrounded by her friends, who grieve.

"This is your fault," Trick says angrily, turning to her. "You were supposed to save her! Instead, you took her away from us."

"No, I didn't want to. I tried, but I didn't have a choice," Tamsin says fearfully, feeling a dread she can't explain. "I'm sorry!"

But Trick doesn't hear her. He produces a dagger and stabs her with it, right in the stomach.

She doesn't know how many times she has the dream, but it is the same each time until she gets back to the Dal. There, she is confronted by all of Bo's friends in turn, each of them blaming her for Bo's death and then attacking her. Dyson transforms into his wolf and rips her throat out. Lauren jams a syringe full of poison into her neck. Kenzi decapitates her with that sword she likes so much. Each time, Tamsin is powerless to fight back.

The worst part is that she doesn't even want to. For failing to save Bo's life, even death is not punishment enough.

xx

"Bo, I've got it," Lauren says over the phone. "The creature that attacked Tamsin is called a Guhl Kash."

"A Guhl Kash?" Bo repeats dubiously.

Trick smacks himself in the forehead.

"Of course," he mutters, and pulls a huge tome out of a chest. He flips through it until he finds the right page and then brings the book over to Kenzi, who has taken Bo's place at Tamsin's side for now. "Is this the thing that attacked you, Kenzi?"

"Ugly, in need of a serious skin cleanse, and has those pointy spikes of death coming out of its arms—that's definitely the one," Kenzi confirms.

"Perfect. I know how to cure Tamsin, Bo."

Bo thanks Lauren for her help and hangs up. Trick goes on to explain that if Bo can break one of the poisonous spines off of a live Guhl Kash, he can grind it up into a concoction that will cure Tamsin when she drinks it. Dyson appears in the middle of the conversation, just as Bo asks where she can find another one of these creatures.

"I know a cave where one probably lives. It's about an hour away," he offers.

Bo looks at him skeptically. "You want to help?"

"Bo, no matter what's happening between us personally, I'm not going to let you run off into danger by yourself. Tamsin was my partner. She's a good person. I want to help if I can," Dyson says.

Bo nods. She really shouldn't face this thing by herself, lest she end up in the same state as Tamsin. And Dyson is a person she always trusts to have her back.

"Let's go then. We're already running out of time."

xx

When she wakes again, Bo is gone, but Kenzi has taken her spot. It takes her a moment to realize that her dreams were actually just dreams and that Kenzi is probably not going to cut her head off. Kenzi notices that she's awake and smiles down at her.

"Hey there, Tam-Tam. How are you feeling?"

"Peachy," Tamsin croaks.

"That's my girl," Kenzi laughs. She grabs a glass of water off of the table. "Bo says you need to drink up."

Now that she mentions it, Tamsin is very thirsty. It takes quite a bit of effort and agony, but Kenzi finally manages to help her sit up just enough to gulp down the entire glass. Her throat is so parched that it actually burns going down, but she feels better for it afterward.

"Where's Bo?" she asks once she's settled back against the pillows again.

"After the good doc managed to figure out what the thing was that tried to shish kebab you, Bo and Dyson ran off to find another one so Trick can make a cure," Kenzi explains.

"And you're sitting vigil at my bedside. Looks like I've got the whole Justice League on my case. I can hardly believe it," Tamsin says wryly.

"After what you did to save Bo, everyone here owes it to you," Kenzi says seriously. "Especially me. The only reason you're laying here looking like a victim of the Black Death is because you had to save me. And I'm the one doing the least to help you."

She looks embarrassed and ashamed, which Tamsin normally wouldn't be able to identify with. But now that she's lost her powers and a lot of her strength, she kind of gets how Kenzi must feel all of the time. Having to stay on the sidelines for fear of getting hurt or in the way is the worst. She is a mortal among superheroes, but she never complains. As far as Tamsin's concerned, that makes her the bravest of them all.

"Well you're sitting here with the pasty, dying Valkyrie while everyone else is off doing other things, so I'd say you're actually doing the most to help right now," Tamsin says, giving Kenzi's hand a weak squeeze. "So thanks. Don't really want to be alone right now, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," Kenzi says sympathetically. "Two years ago I accidentally ate poisoned foot soup made by an Aswang. I was literally _this close_ to dying. Blood coming out of my eyes for two days and everything. I didn't want to be alone then either."

"That is seriously disgusting," Tamsin says, wrinkling her nose. Kenzi laughs.

"I know. Eating gross shit seems to be my curse since I met Bo."

Tamsin sighs and her eyes flutter. She can feel herself becoming weaker by the minute. Kenzi furrows her brow worriedly.

"What do Valkyries like to make them feel better when they're sick?" she asks.

"Valkyries don't get sick," Tamsin says, managing a smirk when Kenzi mutters an indignant "Bitches!" under her breath. "When I was little, though, my mother used to tell us stories. I always liked that."

"I don't know any stories about Valkyries, but I have plenty of Russian fairytales guaranteed to scare the shit out of little kids everywhere," Kenzi says.

"Sounds perfect," Tamsin breathes.

So Kenzi launches into some of her favorite tales, making sure to steer clear of Baba Yaga and anything even remotely related to her. Tamsin listens as well as she can with all of the pain that she's in and tries not to fall asleep, even though she can feel herself fading. Kenzi has a talent for telling stories in her own enthusiastic way, and when she speaks Russian, Tamsin can almost pretend that it's the old tongue instead. It makes her feel safe. At home. At peace.

Just when she feels like she can't hold on anymore—when even the pain recedes and all she can see is the blackness reaching out for her—Bo, Trick, and Dyson come bounding down the steps. It wasn't easy, but they managed to find another Guhl Kash and steal one of its spines without further injury. Trick immediately goes about the process of grinding it up. He mixes it with some other ingredients and ends up with a thick, grayish fluid, which Bo takes from him.

"Hey, Tamsin, I need you to drink this for me, okay?" she urges.

Tamsin shakes her head. The blackness is so close. She wants to slip into it. It'll be nice to finally rest. She wonders where she'll go now that she can't go to Valhalla. Heaven? Hell? Do such places exist? Will she be happy there?

"Come on, babe, please," Bo pleads. "Drink this so you can get better. So you can come back to me. You wouldn't give up on me in the dawning, and now I'm not giving up on you. I'm not letting you go."

She presses the glass against Tamsin's mouth and tilts it so that the liquid touches her lips. When Tamsin doesn't budge, she uses her persuasion power. Finally, Tamsin opens her mouth and begins to drink. Her face contorts at the taste of it and she chokes once, but she manages to get it all down, though she coughs and splutters at the end.

"Thank you," Bo says, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Trick, how long will this take to work?"

"Not long," he answers. "An hour at most. It might take a few days before she feels completely back to normal, though."

Whatever that horrific shit was that Bo forced down her throat, it works fast. Tamsin can feel the pain in her shoulder receding quickly and her body temperature finally evening out. Her senses return to her, and within half an hour, she feels like she can actually sit up properly. Bo stays by her side the whole time and refuses to let go of her hand. She thanks Dyson, Trick, and Kenzi for their help, and they all go upstairs for a drink or something.

"This scenario feels vaguely familiar," Tamsin says with a smirk when they're gone. "Thanks for saving me."

Bo scoffs. "It's the least I can do. First you sacrifice everything to save my life and help me through the dawning, and now you almost get yourself killed saving my best friend. I'm getting dangerously close to calling you my hero." Tamsin snorts, because _really_. "And I'm quickly running out of reasons not to fall in love with you."

The look Bo gives her is so serious, like she actually _means_ it. Tamsin swallows hard. That can't be true. No one has ever loved her. She is an omen of death, not to mention the fact that she can be an insufferable bitch on her best days. Bo already loves Dyson and Lauren. There can't possibly be enough room for her in that equation, too. Can there?

Tamsin laughs nervously and takes a gulp of water. "Well I'm sure I can give you a big ass list of them."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," Bo says.

"And you still suck at reading people," Tamsin replies.

Bo gives her a hard look, brows furrowed like she's really thinking about something important. Finally, she shrugs.

"Maybe. Doesn't change the way I feel, though. You're still a good person in my mind, and your recent actions are only making it better. And I care about you."

Tamsin has never been one for making heartfelt confessions, especially not about stuff like this. Valkyries don't really pride themselves on being able to express their emotions (or having them at all, for that matter). Then again, she's never actually felt like this about anyone before; never been in love. Maybe it's worth it to confide in Bo the way she so willingly confides in Tamsin. Maybe she has nothing left to lose anyway.

"I, uh… I care about you, too, Bo," she says finally, picking at her cuticles anxiously.

Bo's smile spreads across her face and Tamsin can't help but grin in return.

xx

Bo insists that Tamsin still stays with them; at least until she feels like she's completely back to her usual self. Tamsin agrees because arguing with Bo is an absurd and tiring affair, and she likes being close, even if she won't admit that out loud. After two days she feels perfectly fine, but she doesn't try to go back to her own place and Bo doesn't ask her to.

"So what are you going to do now that you're not affiliated with the Dark anymore?" Bo asks one night when Kenzi is God-knows-where and it's just the two of them chatting while Bo sharpens her weapons.

"I don't know," Tamsin shrugs. "Maybe I'll be a freelancer like you."

"It would definitely help to have an extra pair of hands around to help out," Bo agrees.

"You think you can handle not being the only unaligned Fae around here anymore?" Tamsin says with a grin.

"I think it'll be a relief, actually," Bo laughs. "Now maybe everyone can stop gawking at me every time I walk into a room."

"Oh trust me, Hotpants, they'll still have plenty of reasons to gawk," Tamsin says, looking at Bo pointedly. Bo raises her eyebrows and puts her weapon down.

"Is that so?" she asks, sauntering over to Tamsin, who is sitting on the edge of the bed. She runs her hands over Tamsin's shoulders and up onto the back of her neck, where she clasps them. "Well, I wouldn't mind it if _you_ were gawking at me."

"No worries," Tamsin murmurs, looking up into Bo's eyes. "I can't look away."

Bo leans down and kisses her, and Tamsin's hands almost immediately find their way underneath the back of Bo's shirt. She scoots back against the pillows and Bo follows her, straddling Tamsin with her knees. Bo's kisses leave her breathless, and she grips at Bo's back to find purchase, something to keep her grounded. Bo finally leaves her mouth, trailing her lips down Tamsin's neck and across her jaw. Her hands run restlessly up and down Tamsin's sides.

"Do you want me to stop?" Bo breathes into her ear, and then bites at the skin just under it.

"Fuck," Tamsin growls, threading her fingers through Bo's hair. "No. Don't stop."

Before she knows it, her shirt and bra are halfway across the room, along with Bo's. Bo immediately sets about exploring every inch of newly revealed skin with her mouth, dragging her lips across Tamsin's chest, sucking on her collarbone and nipping at the swell of her breasts. Tamsin arches into her when she latches onto a nipple with her lips, and a low groan works its way out of her throat without her permission. She has no idea what the hell to do with her hands. One of them is twisted in the sheets while the other is attached to the back of Bo's head, and her nails are probably digging into Bo's scalp. If it bothers her, she doesn't say anything.

Tamsin's chest flushes with heat as Bo switches her attentions to her other breast, and Christ, Bo is going to kill her before they've actually even done anything. She urges Bo back up her body and kisses her hotly. She feels the telltale tug of chi being pulled from her body, but it only further clouds her brain with lust, makes her want it more. Bo breaks away with a rough gasp, eyes glowing blue, and her expression is completely hedonistic. She looks like she wants to devour Tamsin right here and now. Tamsin doesn't think she'd mind.

Bo sits back on her knees and undoes the button of Tamsin's pants, and with a harsh tug, they too are gone. She gets up to remove her own pants, and then crawls back over top of Tamsin, placing hot kisses all across her quivering stomach. She swirls her tongue around Tamsin's bellybutton, and Tamsin moans, watching through hazy eyes as Bo inches her underwear down and drags her teeth across a sharp hipbone.

The room already smells heavily of sex (Tamsin's, to be precise) and a growl rumbles deep in Bo's chest because of it.

"You are so fucking beautiful," she says, and then throws Tamsin's leg over her shoulder and licks a broad stripe up the inside of her thigh.

Tamsin's head falls back against the pillow when Bo's tongue makes its first swipe, right _there_. She arches up, to the point where Bo has to pin her hips to the bed to keep her still, and Tamsin whimpers when her tongue runs circles around her clit. She reaches back and grabs onto the headboard for dear life, gasping as Bo sucks particularly hard. Then, suddenly, Bo is back, hovering over Tamsin and kissing her deeply. Tamsin can taste herself on Bo's tongue, and it's kind of weird, but not unpleasant.

She has no idea why Bo stopped, because that was definitely the best thing she's ever experienced in her life, and her body is literally buzzing with need. But something about the way Bo looks at her, eyes soft and searching, brings her back down a notch. Bo's hand caresses her cheek, and Tamsin reaches out to do the same, because not touching Bo feels pretty similar to not breathing.

"I can keep going like that," Bo says gently, "but I thought you might want to…"

She trails off, and Tamsin is still a little too fuzzyheaded to grasp her meaning right away. But Bo's other hand still lingers below her waist, fingers tracing patterns along the inside of Tamsin's thigh, and—oh. She gets it now. Bo's talking about penetration. Tamsin sucks in a shaky breath and swallows loudly.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Bo reassures her quickly. "It's completely up to you."

"No, I… I want to," Tamsin says, because if anyone is going to do it, it should be Bo.

"Are you sure?" Bo asks, voice laced with concern. Tamsin nods. "Okay. I'll do my best not to hurt you."

And God, that statement can be interpreted in so many different ways, most of which Tamsin can't even contemplate right now because Bo is kissing her again, and it's deep and full of feelings that make Tamsin's chest feel like it's going to cave in on itself. She feels tense, like she's expecting Bo to plunge into her at any moment, but she doesn't. She trails her hand back up Tamsin's body—scraping her nails along Tamsin's ribcage, massaging her breast, thumbing a nipple, teasing her stomach muscles so that they jump and ripple. It goes on like that for some minutes, until she finally makes her way back down between Tamsin's legs.

Even then, Bo takes her time. She feels her way around, remapping the area with her fingers instead of her mouth, playing with Tamsin's clit and circling around her entrance, but not venturing in. Tamsin waits.

"Baby, you're shaking," Bo says softly, drawing Tamsin's gaze back to her eyes. And yeah, she is. She didn't notice it before, but her body is quaking. She can't tell if it's from fear or arousal. Maybe a little bit of both. "Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop at any time."

"No," Tamsin says determinedly. Then, softer, "Please. I want it to be you, Bo."

"Close your eyes," Bo whispers, and Tamsin obeys without thinking.

She feels the familiar warmth of Bo's lips, and then the rush of lust and love and pure happiness that comes when Bo uses her powers of persuasion. Bo eases two fingers inside of her and she gasps into the kiss. She vaguely registers a stretching sensation and pain, but then Bo ramps up the wattage of her powers just a little bit, and all Tamsin feels is pleasure. Bo works slowly, getting Tamsin used to the feel while weaning her off of the power high. After several long minutes, Tamsin can handle it on her own and Bo sets a more natural pace.

This is not the same as when Bo went down on her, not by a long shot, but it's almost better. Bo's face hovers so closely above hers that they are sharing the same air, which Tamsin takes in huge gulps as Bo presses deeper inside of her. It is an intimacy that Tamsin has never known, an intertwining of bodies and souls that makes her heart beat wildly inside of her chest, and it requires a level of trust that she has never placed in another person. But Bo holds her close and handles her carefully, and Tamsin feels safer than ever.

Tamsin feels something building within her, a pressure that starts deep in her core and grows denser and more powerful with each breath, each press of Bo's lips to her skin, each thrust. She grips Bo's back like her life depends on it, listens to the whines and moans that she can hardly believe are coming out of her own mouth, feels the sweat bead on her forehead. Bo can sense that she's close, can probably feel it with her sexy Succubus insight. She presses her thumb to Tamsin's clit, curls her fingers just right, and kisses Tamsin hard while she cries out and comes apart.

And if Tamsin's chi is incredible under normal circumstances, it is unbelievable while she's in the middle of an orgasm. Bo presses two fingers to her own clit, and it's all she needs. She feels the white heat explode inside of her body while Tamsin shakes beneath her. She slumps down, boneless and breathless, head buried in Tamsin's shoulder. Tamsin's heart thumps loudly in her ear, and Bo pulls her closer, as close as she possibly can. After a few seconds, Tamsin wraps her arms around Bo's back and kisses the top of her head.

"You okay?" Bo asks after she's caught her breath, and tilts her head up to see Tamsin looking at her with shining eyes.

"Yeah," Tamsin says, voice rough. "That was… well, now I see what the fuss is all about. Thank you."

"Thank _you_," Bo says with a little laugh. "I've never experienced anything like that."

Tamsin smirks and a blush stains her cheeks. She sighs and closes her eyes, runs her fingers through Bo's hair.

"I totally want to do that again, but I feel like I could sleep for a thousand years right now," Tamsin murmurs.

"There's always tomorrow," Bo says, stifling a yawn and burrowing further into Tamsin's side. "For now, let's just rest."

Rest, Tamsin thinks, has never sounded so sweet.


End file.
